This isn't my usual me. But since early Spring it seems to be part of make-up. It is a mystery - the Why.
As a self-employed person, having little drive for striving is a very not-good thing. Yes, there are times when the gears are meshing and the wheels are rolling. But there's been way too much time spent off the main track, or any track at all.
I am "busy" - but not in the way the brain wants to be Busy.
The body is bitching because exercise is being ignored.
Self-sabotage can be a real thing.
And I have to figure out Why.
As it goes - the day is greyly dawning, and I am up, dressed, and semi-willing to meet the coming hours. But only semi-willing. I am not a Stay In Bed Person. I could easily become one right now. (Insert silent "primal scream.")
New Dreams are needed. New Get-Excited Challenges are needed. I am fine at surviving. But I really enjoy the feeling of Thriving. Right now I am the chunky geranium brought in from the patio. Still alive, a few red blooms still adding color to the kitchen, but a few leaves curling, and parts wanting to give up, while others want to stay green and growing. Hoping to make it to Year 2018.
This will get figured out. It has to be figured out. A new year is hiding beyond December. Last December I felt REVVED! This year was going to be Special! But the actual actions this year do not reflect this. Foot on clutch, with engine running. Disengaged. A few quick starts. A bunch of stalls.
Vvoom, vvoom!! Cough, cough. Roll to stop.
Another day. Another change at moving something forward.
May YOU be going forward in the direction of your choice! Maybe our paths will meet. If you see me stalled, please pull over and offer a push or pull - LOL. If I see you in similar situation, I promise to do the same.
Here's an Atlas Moth to remember some true joys of Summer.
Fare-thee-well,
Sue
This Saturday - Art Show at the A-Frame in Excelsior, MN. 10 AM -6 PM. Come visit!
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