Total Lack of Ambition

Having NO will to do or care is a bit disconcerting.

It's not "Me."

Possibly Whys?

Many grey darkish days in a row.
Bleeping tinnitus.
Darkish house if there is no sunshine.
Lots to accomplish - but not excited.

There are about four or five "good" hours to the working day, and of late - well, it's downhill from there. And not a good "downhill" as in football jargon.

Perky music keeps brain sane, but not doing.
I make me do faux Big Smile. Just for practice.

Yes, I DO exercise.
Not enough?
Not the right kind?

I do not know.

It's been about four days of not good going, and battling the Not-doings.

It's not about Happiness.
It's not about Joy.

There is no Perk in the Perk Package.

(Sorry/Not Sorry about the rambling. I somewhat fear going back to the still un-diagnosed "thing" - many BIG tests and doctor vists - but no answers of six years ago. Of only having the ambition to go from bed to couch to bed to couch. I DON'T think this is the same, but the thought is lurking. I do not want to be that way ever, ever again. And I do not know how the brain and body worked it's way out of the "thing" - though it took around six months to become somewhat "normal" again.

I want to be interested in stuff, and ideas, and doing the stuff that I do.

(It's all about me. It's all about me....)

Perhaps this is being typed so that if you get feeling this way, or even a bit down this path, that please know there are others here, too.

And if you have wise words - feel free to type.

I will do my best to cheer for a baseball team/game tonight. Something is not nothing! Go, TEAMS!

Well, BIG LETTERS make me almost smile - LOL.

Carry on in your carrying ons, O.K? Somebody's got to keep the going going.

Fare-thee-well,
Sue the Grey Complainer

Oh, goodie! The radio guy just mentioned "A Chance of Drizzle" for tomorrow. Time to find the dryest part of less wet rock...
Hugs to all who need/want them!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still enjoy a good "!"!
(whew)