Eek.

Eek - A Poem

The sense that I

can

focus

on a thing or a doing 

for

only about

fifteen

SECONDS, not Minutes -

at a time

is

not

a

good

thing.

Just to Type

Today was spent attempting to finish the things yet undone on this week's Bullet Journal/SuperBetter page.

Close. Near miss. That sort of thing.

But other things got accomplished.

Priorities can change in the blink of an eye.

Baby basils are now transplanted - not on the list.

A book by Wendall Berry was purchased at Valley Booksellers on Independent Book Sellers Day. I did not eat any cookies. I did not win a door prize. I did see many other books that I could have liked to add to my odd and mixed collection. I took my new book out to the deck behind the store, lucked into a chair in a sunny spot, and watched seven large pelicans do pelican things in the St. Croix River. No one we know has ever seen pelicans on this part of the river. I missed the huge mass of them several days ago - pelicans and loons paddling together. I know some loons will stick around. I am guessing the pelicans will continue north. Yes, I am aware that this is a rambling paragraph.

Tomorrow morning I learn a bit more about working and playing with my new iPhone 7+. Yes, there will be those who will criticize this purchase. I miss the feel of the rubbery case enclosing the iPhone 5. I paid one dollar for the 5. This is not the case with the 7+. So it goes. I am really cheap in some areas of life. But not so with the stuff I treat myself to from that Apple company. Yes, there are detractors in my own family. I choose not to care. Thus endth the sermon.

Now it is time to get back to reading "Dune." Reading this book was to be a priority. I have to remember this. Goodbye, typing. Hello, stuff happening in "Dune."

Fare-thee-well,
Sue

PS - Still two days to keep sucking the life juice out of April. 

A Bit of Morning

Almost panicked when I'd thought Todd had the keys to the old Buick on his keychain. He is in garage-sale/swap meet mode over an hour away. Call him. Key is on bookcase where he leave it for each other.

But be fore calling I'd already mapped time out in walking to and from post office and to and from Walgreens. doable, but not fun, and a serious time sucker. Whew. Keys found where he told me they would be. First World Crisis averted. Yay for cell phones and vehicles and keys and spouses not forgetting. Life now goes normally on. 

And had the key been with him I have learned to remember the wise words spoken by a Buddhist monk: This is O.K., too.

This sentence is not useful ALL of the time. But is - much of the time. 

I am typing at the Daily Grind. No, I didn't get to see the pelicans or loons out on yesterday's St. Croix River. And that is O.K., too. 

I have "too much" to do in the next few days. That is O.K.

It is time to draw a bunny photographed by a friend (Thanks, Laura Rock-Smith!) and think about quantum physics and keep listening to a You Tube soundtrack of quiet piano music/trickling stream.

Photo courtesy of Laura Rock-Smith

May you have or find your "This is O.K., too."

Fare-thee-well,

Sue

Priorities

Sitting at Tin Bins in Stillwater, Minnesota.

So the bossa nova music is streaming in to brain from laptop headphones. I am both relaxed and grateful AND anxious and antsy.

TIME.

The lovely hike down the hill held green grass but no real hint at budding trees. It is late April. It is almost MAY. If Spring does come when will it squeeze its way between Winter and Summer? Seedlings and I want to know. I am not asking for a friend.

Anyway, I came here with backpack full of potential business/art/journaling possibilities. But first a visit to the restroom. There, on the loser lever where I never sit sat four dear friends. The Kaffeeklatsch that before I came down with mysterious affliction in late November of 2011 I'd been part of three times a week mornings from 8 A.M. till we got done talking. I am not kidding. For over fifteen years - and now over twenty. No one has aged. Children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren have grown up, moved away, gotten into trouble, done good.

So, priorities instantly changed. I pulled up a fifth chair and it was as time has not gone by. Yes, different problems, but still quilts being stitched, two people helping two others with their phones, talk of property taxes. Life.

We have nothing in pure common except coming together in now a number of difference coffee shops. And enjoying each others' company. And being there for each other. I have not held up my part of the agreement - ! In the olden days we did meet Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Blizzard or sunshine. Now it Wednesday only. But the commitment to meeting remains the same.

If you don't have a "table of pals" I seriously suggest hanging out in a cafe or coffee shop with tables and chairs close enough for people to "spy" on your doings, and you on theirs. We were all separate until we were together. Together has been lots more fun - most of the time - LOL!

Now it is time to unhook the lovely calming bossa nova and hike back to the house and the business still not done.

For now I am glad I chose friends over potential profits. Treasure comes in many ways.

For your entertainment pleasure I give you some very early bruins -
                                         Pals - 1998: 

Fare-thee-well,
Sue

A "Better" Day and Evening

As April zooms by it does leave some evidence along its trail.

After doing "real work" things and going to a theater to see and only nap a little through "Isle of Dogs" I treated the brain to some Keith Jarrett jazz and an hour messing around with paper and paint in Studio B.

Here is a bit of the chaos resulting from a few days' play - 

The single heart is from another day's adventures, but is included to show that SOMETHING WILL come of the colorful "trash" covering the work surface. (Under all this stuff is a goodly-sized piece of clear plastic that is no longer clear. In fact it is so pretty that I'm considering ways to use it in future mixed-media projects.)

This is a little bit of if you want to play just go ahead and PLAY! Make some stuff that might just be fun to make. Or it might be fun to use later. Gather some favorite colors or other supplies and dare to goof off. Play your favorite tunes or click on a favorite movie. Give yourself an hour to Have Fun. It'll be O.K. Even if it isn't.

In the above junk is tissue paper from somewhere, paint on paper napkins, paint on coffee cup cuffs, paint on tea bags, paint on lace. 
On the large piece on the bottom I'd just started using some acrylic matte medium as adhesive, and stuff was drying. There was no plan. I just ripped paper and mooshed it on to a pink piece of 12" x 12" card stock. Yay for using up art supplies any way one can! Black tissue paper. Pink tissue paper. Scraps from other projects. No rules. Just play until one side of the record is over. Stop. Wash hands. Turn record over. Continue gooing.

The whole sheet is covered now - metallic paints helping unite the many layers. And as I have a meeting planned for tomorrow afternoon with a pal  I will probably bring this sheet of paper and some others along to cut and create even more Hearts. 

Life is O.K.

Fare-thee-well,
Sue

Do You See A Pattern?

Sheesh and Sigh - 

It is well past time to study why I do/don't do some of the things I do/don't do.

It's as though there is is some kind of On/Off switch in brain and I am not in complete control of this mysterious power.

Habit can become What Habit? over night.

On to the keeping of records for some certain habits I'd prefer were being better kept.

Till once again I forget or "forget" to keep track.

Toodles and fare-thee-well,
Sue

P,S. - On the whole, though, I have been squeezing the Life Juice out of this particular April - so Huzzah for that! Either that - or napping and having really odd dreams. Maybe a wee bit too much squeezing.

Doing Stuff to Keep From Working

Another mystery drawing that has been in the studio waiting and waiting.

So on this busy day - other things.... - it whispers, "come play with us." And as I do tend to listen when the bears whisper I got out some new high quality pastels and some actually "vintage" pastels and put some colored dust onto this already-started piece.

So far:

Now to get back to the other stuff. So many kinds of work. And let's not discuss "composition." The shapes tell ME where they feel most comfortable. I have learned not to mess much where talking "bears" are concerned.

Fare-thee-well,
Sue

Cranky

Cranky the last few days because the tinnitus "volume" won't dial down - meds or no meds.

And, yes, I probably did this to myself over the weekend - foods I Enjoyed might be torturing head for temporary Joy.

Sorry to be so boring in the typing of this over and over. I can be a quick learner or a never learner. Hoping that the "vibrating steam roar" between ears subsides some and gives me yet another chance at learning. To paraphrase the comic "Pogo" - "I have met the enemy  and it is me."

Onward - but not to Spring. Winter is forever this year. The spindly seedlings yearn for more light and deeper pots. The weekend hold only more cold, rain, and snow. I am sorry little tomatoes, flowers, and potential garden goodies...

On to another semi-happier topic:

If you are a creative type - a good read is "Make It Mighty Ugly." Authored by Kim Piper Werker it is full of honesty and helpful prompts and exercises. This book makes one aware and accountable - if one wants to be aware and accountable. It was good quotes - "Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat." This was from F. Scott Fitzgerald.

One that strikes way to close to home: "When I realize I've been staring at a blank page for ten minutes, or that I've spend two hours in a Twitter-Tumblr-Facebook-Instgram K-hole, I think of all the productive things I could have done with that time." - Ann Friedman, Journalist

It's a tiny bit comforting that we are not alone in our not-doing, but yet not so much.

Werker speaks of Procrastination Demons..... Hmmm, I have no experience with THOSE. (hahaha)

Every page has a nugget or two of suggestions or information. Her honesty about dealing with her own creative life is refreshing in a "damn, you, too?" kind of way.

Her advise to to make something - and make it UGLY - on purpose.

There is much more to this small book than the above.

Dang. I might have to stop reading - and get back to some actual Doing. Time to take off the headphones forcing soothing meditation music into head, sip one last cold sip of de-caf, and head up the hill to the rest of the evening.

At least one person is coming to the first Wednesday night Art Evening (Use Up Sue's Art Supplies) that we've held in a few weeks. So parts of the house are cleaner and a few art supplies will get used up. We might make ugly stuff. We might just make LOVELY stuff. It is all in the daring to do.

Let's dare it! (Ding ding ding ding! - head just wanted to chime in, too.)

Fare-thee-well,
Sue

Sheesh.

Not Posting

Happens.

Goofing Off in Studio B

In early afternoon Todd and I headed for a metro area estate sale. The ad showed images of art supplies. I have no need of more art supplies, but Todd needed to get out of the house.

The studio area was almost picked bare, but I spent $2.00 for these items - 

The Super Amber paper is lovely translucent stuff, and most of the sheet is there. Now to see if I can de-curve it! A small sheet got painted later in the day, and a few Hearts are sitting under a weight. We shall see what happens.

I'd not owned a painting knife this small. Now to play with some marks. And as I didn't own an old two-foot wooden ruler - well, I "had" to buy this one. Could have purchased another. Practiced self control.

Did spend one whole hour playing in Studio B this afternoon.  Paper and paint. Teabags and paint. The Oscar Peterson Trio was most excellent company.

                            They played better than I played.

This album was released in 1963. The music is still fresh. It makes me happy to "rescue" vintage record albums, and I have owned this piece for some years. It's exciting to know that people young and old are discovering and rediscovering the joys of placing a large vinyl disk onto a turntable - and trusting a sharp needle and some speakers to create sound from those tiny grooves cut into that disk.

Tomorrow will bring different studio adventures. And more choosing tunes. I have too many art supplies. And too many records. Life is pretty peachy for the moment.

I figure any future estate sale happening here promises to be at least interesting!

Fare-thee-well,
Sue

Snow

It didn't snow today. 
And it isn't supposed to snow tomorrow.
But it is supposed to snow the day after tomorrow.
And even after that.

Temperature records for "Low" and "Low High" are being
Tied or Broken.

Some people are starting to go crazy.

I watch the tiny seedlings grow - and hope.

Pact

PACT

The only 

reason

I am

typing

tonight

is that 

I made 

a

pact 

with myself

that I would

blog

seven times this week

I do not alway

honor pacts

I have

made

with myself

or others

This is a fault

in my make-up

and I

am working

on overcoming

this flaw

Thus

this boring

poem

"Pretending" and Joy

A few simple things that bring me Joy:

* An empty coffee shop table for me - and enough other tables empty for potential other customers so I don't have to feel guilty about taking up a long time of money making space.

*  <<< These

* Sunshine warming my back even on this eleven degree above zero morning. Darn - it had been a balmy twelve above earlier...

* A planned dinner out tonight  -  to talk with a friend while listening to another friend play jazz on a dining place's piano.

* Seeing some seeds sprouting from their starting soils.

* Learning about real things while working in my Fake Journal - 

(Yes, I was so happy to start in on this today that I mis-dated by twenty-four hours! - It is actually still April 4th - as far as I know.)

* Daffodils in The Daily Grind. (Theirs are the solid yellow ones. I sneaked off to Goodge Images for this one.)

* Having enough money to buy a second cup of de-caf coffee.

* Remembering that some places still provide Free Re-fills. This place is not one of those places, but that's O.K.

* Knowing that there are hours in the day to accomplish many things on The Master List. Oops - this might be veering from Simple and/or Joy.

On that note - it is time to vacate this bench and head back up the hill to Reality.

And that is O.K., too.

Sometimes "O.K." can also bring one Joy...

Fare-thee-well,

Sue

April: Day 3 -

This morning Todd and I shoveled and brushed off the van and headed to the theater in Oakdale, MN to see the 10 A.M. showing of "Ready Player One." Sadly, the comfy recliner seats, freshish popcorn, and rolling amounts of CGI visuals put me to sleep in micro-naps throughout the film. What parts I saw were good, but my wacky brain gets easily bored with CGI when giant vehicles roll over and spin through the air, buildings and land fly into so many tiny pieces..., or other things happen loudly and quickly. ZZZzzz... - even at ten in the morning!! so I cannot give a true review of this movie. Parts were fun to see. Others held references that I could not watch back in the day - so I knew I could not watch them now.

Earlier in the day I had created my own imaginary time - another journal post for International Fake Journal Month. this whole April I am, or so it appears..., attempting Crone Practice, as someone has nominated me as Potential Crone. (This is ALL "made up" but is a strange and wondrous way to spend April along with several hundred like-minded odd people. We create a character and stick with it. If you want to know a bit more about this event you can Google it. Really.)

Here is today's page from the journal:

The past two days' drawings were more literal. But as anything goes - as far as it sticks with one's character's world - it was fun to play with something more free form. I tend to write text as it comes to me. some pages have lots more words than this one does. And I have no idea what Day 4 will bring.

Now it is time to get back to entering art festivals and finish some bookkeeping. And maybe get back to reading "Dune."

Still watching botany documentaries on the You Tube.

Filling up the day once again - hip hooray. 

Thinking of Grandma Lucille Rowe and Marney Walerius. Both gone, but more than fondly remembered. One's birthday. One's death day. Never underestimate A Day.

Fare-thee-well,

Sue

April - Day 2

Today has been a solid mix of business doings, organizing in Studio B, house work, a coffee shop break with a pal, journaling, Fake Journaling, getting new varieties of garden seeds in the mail, and relaxing with social media and Netflix.

Oh, before that there was an hour of pacing through the house for an hour while watching a BBC Scotland documentary on early botanists. On You Tube.

So I am a tiny bit more knowledgeable, the house in a tiny bit cleaner, there have been business baby steps taken, and sharing stories with friend and barista.

Snow has been happening since noon, and though the metro area of Minnesota is not getting socked the hardest, it still is playing bad tunes in many peoples' brains. Seeing friends' posts on Facebook showing green grass and/or tree and flower blossoms fill brain with joy and sadness. We will have green here again some day. But not soon. At least the sun rays are at a more "warm" degree. But with a forecast "high" of 31 degrees tomorrow, well, to put it gently - we are NOT amused.

Now it's time to quite typing and channel my more nocturnal friends. 'Cause there is still work to be done.

Day Two of April? Filled to the brim. Ye ha! (I hope I don't fall asleep reading in "Dune" later. I hope to get around to reading in "dune" later...)

Fare-thee-well,
Sue

April - "My" Month

April is my month for many reasons.

This year I am going to try willing myself to live each of its days to the fullest.

Day One: So far - so good.